Soap is not a condiment
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
