He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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