forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize