Christians are straight up FREAKS
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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