he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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