he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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