Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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