So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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