just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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