VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
