last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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