Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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