listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They are going to name an STD after you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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