i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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