So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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