3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize