I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
