how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
