how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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