the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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