Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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