sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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