Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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