How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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