Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
