Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
