Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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