guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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