did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
nutella sex= disaster
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
