I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
