Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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