If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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