he thought i was a dude.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
