btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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