im gay
i know
yea but for you.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
