dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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