brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
