So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
