I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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