if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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