In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
