i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
