He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
