I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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