He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower