I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
