it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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