Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize