sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
