If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Be still, my beating vagina.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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