Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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