I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
