I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
