I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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